Careful what you wish... #2

I moaned a bit the day before yesterday and I eventually got what I wanted. A downpour of biblical proportions came over Paris and paralyzed trains, some metro lines and... the International Controllership Department in General Electric Healthcare, Buc, France.

Yep, when I left (or rather - 'was evacuated' by the safety personnel) after having put all the cables and the PC on my desktop, there was approximately 2-3 cm of water on the floor (or rather - above the carpet). This basically means that the Q2 close may be delayed a day or two, before the maintenance staff renovates our workplaces.

So, indeed, I got what I wanted. There is a gentle breeze, and the air even smelled of ozone for a brief moment after the thunderstorm had gone away...

This case brings some light to the not very obvious phenomenon of the retaliative temper of the forces of nature. This particular predicament's causality is rather simple and straightforward - I had produced a critical mass of disrespect that started to smell unpleasantly, and triggered a sanitation system aimed at razing the premises of an infidel (yes, me) to the ground.

Some may very well say that I'm interpreting the abovementioned chain of events in a very egocentric manner, not taking into account all obvious external factors that usually add up for a hell of a thunderstorm, such as: high humidity (from evaporation), electric load build-up in the lower atmosphere (winds, quickly moving clouds) etc.

Well, guys, if you don't believe in the fact that nature is simply mean, take the butterfly effect for instance (no, not the movie, that's just some people not using contraceptives and resulting in the conception of an individual as peculiar as the Kutcher guy...).

A quick reminder for those of you who don't know: the butterfly effect is a term coming from the depths of the exotic sciences dealing with chaos, uncertainty and bureaucracy. The idea behind it states that if a butterfly flapped his wings somewhere in a god-forsaken bar in Glenrock, WY, it would probably result in a hurricane in Southeast Asia. That's the theory.

Let's take a look at the implications of the above statement. Imagine, just for a moment, that there really was a direct cause-and-effect connection between the innocent butterfly and a frenzy in Malaysia. Now let's assume that each action requires reaction (or perhaps not requires, but rather takes it for granted; try punching a policeman - or another highly reactive elements - on the stomach, for instance). Now let's assume that there are some butterflies in Kuala Lumpur and that all of the would go out of hiding after the storm is over.

You see what I mean? Yes, the Malay butterflies would take revenge and start flapping their tiny wings frantically, until the world ended in a series of violent atmospheric events.

Even though these kinds of phenomena are hopefully rare and occurred only a dozen or so times on the geologic scale of time (perhaps mainly due to the fact that the Malay butterflies hardly ever figure out what actually struck them), nevertheless this is an almost empirical proof to the decadence of nature. And perhaps to the Monty Python-like sense of humor it prefers.

This in turn leads us directly to another conclusion: if you have wings and you've mastered the art of flapping them in certain ways (with a certain frequency, angle and target), you can actually evoke some vis majors and draw the wrath of others. If we take it one step further, we can assume that not only wings, but perhaps flapping your eyelids, ears or simply tapping impatiently with your fingers (as I usually do, when I'm fed up with the weather, and what I actually did before the deludge), you can be in big trouble in an instant.

Now, as you probably are aware of the fact that most of our uttermost needs and desires are subconsciously transmitted outwards in the forms of body language, temperature, breathing pattern etc., you probably already see my point.

Main point: it seems there is a proven and working link between what you think about and what will eventually happen.

Main point (poetic approach): Careful what you wish, you just might get it...

P.S. It's just started to rain again. If I auto-weather-analyzed myself, it would probably mean that I'm not pleased with my job at all. Which is not the case. So maybe it's this shitty coffee machine that I hate so much? Or is it just wishful thinking...

[disclaimer: no butterflies were either harmed or forced to do things they find ethically questionable during the experiments conducted for the purpose of this blog entry]

On life, universe and everything... #1

No, it's not going to be about the Hitchhiker's Guide... It's not going to be about the Hitchhiker's hype (no pun intended). This one is about exactly what the title itself suggests.

Let's start with life: not very long, rather unpleasant, filled with things that may never come and passions that only could have been. To put it bluntly.

These thoughts, too pesimistic for some, too optimistic for others, have recently come to my mind without any particular reason, neither preceded nor followed by any spectacular events in this long and tormented existence of mine :) It's more of a general dissatisfaction and ensuing from it: war-like relationship that I have with the world nowadays. I've found myself to see it this way, I've found not to be afraid to admit it. I have finally found myself to change it.

Let's move on.

The direct reason for this entry has actually been provided by the universe, or at least by a tiny bit of it: the city of Paris and the infamous summer weather in the city of Paris.
In this very moment it's 1 a.m., the temperature reached 40*C today, and it seems it's not giving up on making my life more bitter, holding a steady 28*C in the middle of the night. This translates to a steady 30*C inside my room. God - if you're reading this - please, take me now...

Most of the people I know (and probably those that I know of, as well as a couple of million that I have no idea about) look forward to falling asleep ASAP, waking up before sunrise (ca. 4 a.m.)and jetting back to work, to the safe haven of their A/C offices and promises of discount price lunches at the corporate canteen. Not to mention, that the road to that ultimate happiness is paved with such entertaining activities as commuting for an hour or so in a can-like metro, in temperatures easily reaching over 50*C and humidity similar to the one, which you are probably able to experience in the deepest jungles of the Amazon.

If by any chance you are a part of this group, lift your right arm, punch yourself gently on the chest and listen to the funny, hollow sound you're now making. Go ahead punch again. BTW: bare fist, gorilla-like experiments recommended for the hearing-impaired.

The problem with you is, that the hollowness is right where it belongs. In your heart.

But returning to the tropical mind-boiling, stamina-draining climate that I'm experiencing and that annoys me greatly:

Doesn't it actually mean that the universe adjusts itself (i.e. by rising local temperature levels) in order to reduce the entropy of the local system? As it is quite contrary to the dozen of laws of physics that I'm aware of (and probably a few dozens of those that I've never heard of), this perhaps could be used as one of the first empirical proofs for the divine intervention. Go ahead. Just credit me for coming up with this one if you wrap it up, write down on a couple of pages, draw a chart or two and turn it into a nice-looking, streamlined theory/book/cult/religion. I really don't care what you do with it, as long as I'm famous.

As far as I'm concerned there's probably no conspiracy behind it. I've never been much of a conspiracy theories believer myself (I watched X-Files because there was usually nothing else to do on Thursday evenings). And frankly speaking: I don't care much whether it is the God or The-One-Whose-Name-Shalt-Not-Be-Spoken-In-Public or Whomever that streches his arm from the heavens to turn on the heater, snow-o-meter or pigeon-o-shitter.
What bothers me though, is that so many people have no choice but to clinch their fists and simply bear it. What bothers me even more is that most of them actually COULD have had a choice, but they irrecoverably lost the ability to:

• form an opinion of their own
• move from the less favorable habitats to those offering more humane living conditions
• not accept their fate as it is, taking for granted, that there are probably many worse things in the universe, and just a few that are better - the latter being very unlikely to meet, unless stumbled upon, having been lead by their guardian angel...
  

So what does 'everything' have to do with it?

Primo: apparently nothing.

Secundo: for most of you still - apparently nothing.

Tertio: for a very small group of you - a lot, and then - after taking a deep breath and performing the most thoughtful gaze of your petty existence - a few more.

And this time and - mind you - this time only, the third group is absolutely, perfectly and beyond any doubt... INCORRECT.

There is no 'everything' around you. Not much of 'everything' is quite what it seems either.

Anyway: those of you still looking for a tight grip: find it, get a grip, set off from where you are to where you want to be. And not to where you think it would be nicely perceived if you ever got there.

In the follow-ups you'd probably start getting tips. This is the first lecture. And as always: it's just a piece theory.

----

The whole point of this exercise is to prove that even a rather educated, focused and otherwise sane person might go slightly mad at a time, place and weather like this.

The complementary point: don't ever come to Paris in the summer, let alone for brief holidays. You'd be toasted.

P.S. Let's hope the change of the language won't severely damage the contents of this blog. After this quick warm-up (no pun intended, again...), a daily or bi-daily update from the inner world of big corporations shall begin. Stay tuned.

And thanks for the fish.